After I Go
by Halfling Rogue
Summary: When Dark Washu was under Dr. Clay's control, Washu was forced to erase Tenchi and co.'s memories of herself. She had a lot to think about during that time . . .


**After I Go**  
  


**A.N.:** Uwaaa I'm sorry, I know I haven't written anything in ages (since I want to finish my YGO duology completely before I post it online), but my sister just bought All-New Tenchi Muyo! #4, and there's no way I could let such a poignant situation go to waste. Granted, most of it's just re-enactments of the scenes from the book, but I kinda like how it turned out. Hopefully I haven't lost my style since Mortalis; well, enjoy!  
  
**Disclaimers:** Tenchi and co. (and nearly every bit of dialogue in this fic) are copyright of the amazing Hitoshi Okuda. 'Will You Remember Me' music and lyrics are copyright of the equally amazing Jann Arden. And no, this is NOT intended as a Tenchi/Washu ship. I support Tenchi/Ryoko. So nyaaaaaa.  
  
**Extra Note:** Just so nobody gets confused: these scenes are all taken from the fourth book. So is the dialogue. I only came up with the narration and some of the internal dialogue (making it more like a vidfic than a songfic, but meh). On top of that, I left out pretty much all of the battle scenes and a lot of in-between stuff, so there may be parts of the fic that have gaping holes. If you wanna know what happens, go buy the book. Okay, I'm done.  
  


----------

  
The cybernetic insect's circuits hummed as Dr. Clay's copy continued to mock them through the window. The hologram's voice was muffled slightly by the glass. "Dear me . . . You still look so **calm** and **composed**. Not at **all** what I want to see. Make me **happy** . . . show me your face contorted in **agony**!"  
  
Washu growled. Clay's hatred for her was an established fact, but he didn't have to drag Tenchi and the others into his revenge! He'd already had the Black Crystal program place Sasami, Ayeka, _and_ Ryoko into near-fatal condition. And all because he was trying to get to _her_ . . . "Damn you, Clay! You're such a twisted sadist!"  
  
"I'll give you one more chance," the insect declared, ignoring her. "Let you fight Dark Washu, your puppet."  
  
Washu stiffened. There was something inherently _wrong_ about that offer. Clay—even a copy of him—wouldn't give her that sort of chance without putting a heavy condition on it. He loved to win far too much for that to ever happen. She knew _that_ through painful first-hand experience.  
  
"I even have an **arena** in mind!" Clay continued.  
  
_Here it comes . . ._ Washu thought.  
  
"There's just **one** condition."  
  
_Bingo._ "All right," she agreed. No point beating around the bush, not with Dark Washu still at large. "Tell me!"  
  
Clay grinned in triumph. "Delete all memories of yourself, Washu!" the hologram commanded. "**Delete** them—from your **friends**. **You** will make them forget!"  
  
"**_WHAT?!_**" Washu had been prepared for something nasty, but that demand knocked the breath out of her. _Delete_ everyone's memories . . . ? Of _her_ . . . ?  
  
Tenchi and Mihoshi started forward, worry and anger warring on their faces. "Is he for real?!" Tenchi demanded. Clay's image just smiled sinisterly at them.  
  
"You do it all the time, don't you? So easy to wash brains this way and that . . . But let's see you do it when it **really** counts!"  
  
"W-Washu!" Mihoshi pleaded. "Don't listen to him! He's a criminal mastermind . . . not nice at all!"  
  
"I hate to say it . . . " Tenchi put in, "but listen to Mihoshi for once!"  
  
The universal genius barely registered their protests. Clay's words kept circling around in Washu's head, inuring her to the world. It was true. How many times had she used her programming to delete people's memories, with barely a second thought? She'd done it just a few days ago, during the battles against Dark Washu's clones! She'd been careful never to abuse that power, but there were times when she hadn't taken it as seriously as she could have . . .   
  
But even that aside, there was the whole mess with Dark Washu. Even if Clay had been the one to activate the program, Washu was the one who had created the Black Crystal in the first place. Dark Washu—and her defeat—was her own responsibility. It wasn't fair for the others to be dragged into it, it wasn't fair for them to suffer like they had. If things continued the way they were going, one of the others could wind up dead. Tenchi, Ayeka, Ryoko, Sasami . . . she didn't want to even imagine it.  
  
Clay was ruthless, and the Black Crystal's program was drawing off of his personality. Dark Washu would stop at nothing until one of them was destroyed completely, and by any means possible. A removed arena, while almost certain to be trapped by Clay, would at least give her a chance to have her showdown without anybody else getting hurt. But if they stayed here, if her 'family' was hurt any more than they had already been . . .   
  
. . . She had no choice.  
  
"**?!**" Tenchi started in surprise as Washu raised a hand and the familiar programming windows appeared in front of her. _She couldn't mean to . . . _  
  
"Oh Washu, come on . . . " he started weakly. No way. Washu couldn't—wouldn't give in to someone like Clay. "You're not . . . you're not going to listen to him . . . are you? You can't just make us _forget_ you!"  
  
"You know I can." Washu fought hard to keep her voice from breaking with grief, but it still wobbled. She couldn't help it. It all had to go. Every single moment they'd shared . . . "I'm sorry . . . Lord Tenchi . . . I am." She primed the deletion process.  
  
"**NO!**" Tenchi's outburst surprised the both of them, making her hesitate. "Don't tell me you're sorry! _Please!_ Don't leave us like this!" _Don't . . . don't make us forget . . . it won't be the_ same _without you, Washu . . . _  
  
Her vision swam threateningly. For a moment she was so very tempted to shut down the system, just forget the whole thing; they could defeat Dark Washu, together, somehow. But . . .   
  
Washu closed her eyes and activated the process. Something warm slid down her cheeks as she turned her head away. When had she started crying?  
  
Something inside him jolted. Tenchi struggled against the program, but he could feel his memories of Washu slipping away even as he looked at her. Behind him, Mihoshi also swayed as the deletion took effect. His eyes felt so heavy, and he could feel himself dropping to his knees . . . "I . . . you . . . we . . . " Why couldn't he make any sense? "Wa . . . Wa . . . shu . . . "  
  
-**WUMP**-  
  
Washu watched with tearful eyes as her friends—more than her friends, her _family_, something inside her screamed—collapsed to the floor. It would take a little longer, but when Ayeka, Sasami, and Ryoko woke up, they wouldn't remember anything about her, either. There would be no-one to remind them. _I'm sorry, Lord Tenchi . . . I'm truly . . . sorry . . ._  
  
"Heh . . . heh heh heh heh!" Washu's spine went rigid at the hologram's cackle. "Ha ha ha ha! Excellent! How does it **feel** to be all alone in the world, _eh_?! Now, follow this robot, Washu . . . to your **final** defeat!"  
  
_All alone in the world . . ._ It hurt. It hurt much more than she could have imagined. But along with that hurt came a vivid, cleansing rage, one that made her shake with its passing. Clay would _not_ get away with this. He would _not_!  
  
"I'll go . . . I'll go where you tell me . . . " She forced her hand to unclench, and summoned her fighting gear. This was _war_, Washu vowed. Clay may be able to coerce her into this for as long as Dark Washu was under his control, and the others may never remember her again . . .  
  
"** . . . But I'll come home again! You won't take that away from me!**"  
  
----------  
  
_**Will you remember me when I'm gone  
Will you remember me at all  
I tried to be kind, I tried to be good  
Will you remember me**_  
  
_[Ryo-Oh-Ki. Ryo-Oh-Ki, isn't that you? What's wrong? Ryo-Oh-Ki, please respond! Ryo-Oh-Ki!]_  
  
"Meow mya mew!"  
  
Washu offered Ryo-Oh-Ki a weak smile as Minagi's voice echoed over the intercom. "It's okay, Ryo-Oh-Ki," she reassured. She wouldn't—couldn't—respond to Minagi. She had to be firm in her resolve.  
  
_I can't get her involved in this . . ._ Minagi would fight for her, she knew that beyond a doubt. Dark Washu had nearly taken out Ryoko; there was a chance that she could destroy Minagi as well. There was no way she was going to risk both of her 'daughters'.  
  
. . . Or even one. "Cut Ryoko's astral line, too, Ryo-Oh-Ki. This time, we're on our own!"  
  
"Mreow!"  
  
And how horribly true that was.  
  
----------  
  
**_God only knows why we try and fail  
Is this heaven on earth or the fires of hell  
I tried to be honest, it's hard not to lie  
Will you remember me  
After I die_**  
  
It was this leg of the journey, the long hours spent in Ryo-Oh-Ki's dark interior, that she'd known would be the hardest. Left alone with her thoughts, her decisions, her failures began to haunt her. She considered herself one of—if not _the_—greatest geniuses in existence. But what if that was all grandiose?  
  
It wasn't as if she'd never let the others down before. There were more than enough incidences, ones that she'd rather not have to recount. Quite a few of them numbered with Ryoko, and while she would have liked to be able to blame her 'daughter' for most of the conflict, she knew it would be untrue and unfair. She'd given as good as she'd gotten. And while she didn't regret not letting Ryoko slide (for even at this given moment, she had to admit that Ryoko could be a brat), she did regret not making more of an effort to spend some peaceful time together. In terms of family, Ryoko was technically closer to her than any of the others . . .   
  
Family. When had that become such an important term to her? And when had the others fallen into that category? And while she was thinking along those lines, shouldn't Dark Washu be as much of her 'daughter' as Ryoko? Was that why she was having so much trouble getting up the resolve to hurt her?  
  
Washu steered herself away from those thoughts, feeling slightly disturbed. But they _were_ all family to her. Tenchi, Ryoko, Sasami, Ayeka, Minagi, Mihoshi, even Mr. Masaki and Lord Yosho. She wasn't sure if the revelation brought her more joy than pain. While they might still be family to her, she was no longer a part of their lives.  
  
There was still a chance that she wouldn't survive, either. If the others didn't remember her, would her death still pain them somehow if they found out? Would they mourn her? Would anyone?  
  
. . . Would Dark Washu?  
  
"Mreow mew!"  
  
Washu was startled out of her dark thoughts by Ryo-Oh-Ki's excited report.  
  
Jupiter was in sight.  
  
----------  
  
**_Will you remember me  
Will you remember me_**  
  
_Well, that was rather disheartening._ Dark Washu's attack on Ryo-Oh-Ki had nearly pushed the poor thing past her limits. They were in one piece, but it hadn't been a smooth ride . . . and the worst was yet to come.  
  
_Showdown to the death of apocalyptic proportions?_ Washu stepped through the ice dust floating off of Europa's surface and caught sight of Dark Washu's form just ahead of her. _Yup. Right on schedule._  
  
"Quite miserly in your tea selection." _That's it, Washu, girl, keep your confidence. Let it support you. I can do this._ "Guess I won't expect much in the way of **teacakes**."  
  
"Heh." Dark Washu's mouth curled in a sneer. "Around here, the **tea** chooses its **consumer**."  
  
Huh? Washu raised an eyebrow. What was this, a riddle tournament?  
  
Her other caught her expression of confusion and the sneer grew. "Heh! You'll understand what I mean soon enough!" Then her voice became sly and mocking. "So . . . how does it feel . . . **to be on your own?**"  
  
Stab. Rage came back, clashing with a sickening sense of what felt like abandonment. _Damn him! **Toying** with me!_ "You've shredded my soul almost beyond endurance." The words were forced through a tight throat and clenched teeth. "Is that what you want to hear? But why all the games, Clay? Why not . . . just tell me . . . to kill myself . . . . ?" Something that she had been wondering from the beginning. He certainly had the leverage . . .   
  
"But that's too **easy!**" Dark Washu—ir rather, Clay—proclaimed. "I wouldn't be able to see your suffering if I just killed you."  
  
This man needed serious therapy. Washu suppressed a shiver at the positively gleeful look on her double's face as it added, "And, believe me, I plan to make your **physical** death last a long, long time . . . "  
  
" . . . . . " That was it. Enough games. "Oh, is that so . . . ?"  
  
Washu coordinated herself with Ryo-Oh-Ki, felt her body prime. "**_I'd like to see you try!_**" With a kick, she launched herself at her own creation, Clay's control, and all of her greatest achievements and fears rolled into one deadly result.  
  
And the battle began.  
  
----------  
  
**_I've got a junkie heart in a cage of bone  
I'm a scientific wonder, a sober son  
I was born blue-blooded  
So I've never made a cent on my own_**  
  
" . . . if 'Washu' _is_ the kind of person Minagi described to us . . . she would **never** tell me to kill!"  
  
Washu struggled to open her eyes, her breathing catching painfully in her chest. What was going on? The last thing she remembered was being dumped beneath Europa's surface and then frozen into a giant ice block. What had happened? And why did that voice sound like . . .   
  
_ . . . Ryoko . . . _  
  
A painful shiver wracked her body, and she passed out again. But not before she felt a warm thread of something that felt remarkably like hope.  
  
----------  
  
**_I don't need to tell you that I'm afraid  
'Cause I'll be paying for all the mistakes I've made  
I tried to be thoughtful, it's hard not to be blind  
Will you remember me  
After I'm gone_**  
  
Blink. Blurry vision. The sounds of battle, far overhead. Battle that she was no longer involved in. She was injured, exhausted, and still half-freezing, but none of that stopped her from recognizing the circle of faces that now surrounded her.  
  
"Are you okay, miss . . . uh . . . Washu?"  
  
Mihoshi's voice. Mihoshi's wonderfully ditzy voice. But how . . . ?  
  
"Yes, are you all right?" And Ryoko. Sounding _concerned_?  
  
"How do you all . . . " Her voice croaked painfully, and she had to try again. " . . . The memory block . . . I-I never undid it. You shouldn't even . . . " Tenchi was there, too. And Minagi. How did they . . . ?  
  
Wait. "Wait a minute! **Minagi**—did you bring them all here? Coerce them into coming somehow?" She should have realized that Minagi would have figured out that something was wrong. She had passed her while leaving Earth's outer gravitational field, which meant that Hinase had been heading _towards_ Earth. She must have gotten the others to come here somehow. But how?  
  
Minagi gave Washu a strange look, then gently shook her head. "Washu, it's not like that . . . they all came here of their own free will."  
  
Washu blinked. Their own free will? But . . . the deletion had been thorough, she'd made sure of it. None of them should have been able to remember her in the slightest. Her programming wasn't faulty; it was the same one she used on anyone else.  
  
"Even if you did erase their **minds**," Minagi continued softly, "something in their **hearts** remembered. The **love** that brought them here . . . it could **never** be erased . . . "  
  
Washu's eyes opened wide. Their love . . . their love for her was so strong that it over-rid the deletion? Well, not entirely—they still didn't wholly recognize her. But they shouldn't have been able to know her at _all_. And yet, they were here in front of her, even Ryoko, and fighting for her safety. "Minagi . . . "  
  
Minagi must have been the one to bring them to Europa, but the will . . . the will to come had been theirs. She hadn't been able to take it away. " . . . "  
  
"W-Washu? What's wrong?" Minagi ventured.  
  
Washu couldn't speak for tears of relief. There was an incredibly warm feeling in her heart. _They cared about me so much . . ._ And she owed them an apology. One that couldn't be made with just words.  
  
Mihoshi looked on in surprise as the red-haired woman raised a hand and translucent screens popped up in front of her, humming. "Miss 'Washu' . . . what are—"  
  
-**KEEEEE**-  
  
Washu and Minagi watched as the other three cried out in surprise, Washu keeping a particularly close eye on their responses. There was a slight chance that the program wouldn't reverse properly. And even if their memories were restored completely, there would be an even greater chance that they—  
  
Tenchi whipped around with a set look on his face.  
  
Urk.  
  
—that they would be mad.  
  
_Is he . . . is Lord Tenchi **mad** at me?_ Ryoko, she could understand. But Tenchi . . . well to put it shortly, it stung.  
  
"Washu-_chan_!" he snapped. Kind, good-natured _Tenchi_ snapped.  
  
Whuh-oh.  
  
"Huh?! Y-Yes?! What!" _Don't panic, don't panic, don't—huh?!_  
  
_ . . . This can't be happening._  
  
Washu was stupefied to find herself enfolded in a rather warm embrace, with Ryoko's outraged "Hey!" sounding off in the background. It was a welcome feeling against the freezing near-death she'd just gone through, but that didn't make it any more believable.  
  
"L . . . L . . . L-Lord Tenchi . . . ?!"  
  
" I have **never**," Tenchi began in a low voice, "been so **angry** . . . in all my life!"  
  
Washu felt herself relax against her will. He'd been even more worried about her than she'd thought. She was that important to him and the others. Important enough to bring them across space with only a picture in their hearts.  
  
_How I've misjudged them . . . they have become my family, more than I ever realized._  
  
"Don't you ever . . . do anything . . . like this again," Tenchi commanded.  
  
_Lord Tenchi . . ._ " . . . Okay . . . I . . . I'm sorry . . . " Ryoko and Mihoshi were smiling at her from over Tenchi's shoulder as well. She'd missed them so much . . .   
  
"Is the touching reunion over with yet?"  
  
They all snapped around at the digital voice. Dark Washu floated above, just out of immediate range, a vague look of disgust on her face. Ryoko growled.  
  
"I'll show **h**—"  
  
"Wait!" Everyone blinked. Washu stepped forward, waving Ryoko aside. "It's my turn. Let me do it."  
  
"Wha . . . ! But she—er, _he_ . . . was beating the pants off you!"  
  
The scientist felt a sweatdrop coming on. _Thanks for that concise analysis, Ryoko . . ._ "Caught me off guard, that's all." Besides, there was more than just pride at stake at the moment. She couldn't ignore the fact that this mess was still her responsibility. "I got us into this . . . and it's up to **me** to get us out! This may be a battle only **I** can fight . . . "  
  
Ryoko was silent a moment, and Washu readied herself for a verbal showdown with her 'daughter'. But she was pleasantly surprised when Ryoko gave in. "All right, Washu. I'll stand down."  
  
Coming from Ryoko, that was more than just a concession to a fight. Washu felt that warm surge again. _Thank you, Ryoko. Thank you, all . . . _  
  
It was time for this to end.  
  
----------  
  
**_Will you remember me  
Will you remember me_**  
  
Washu stared down in concern at the ravaged face in front of her. With Clay's final piece of control destroyed, Dark Washu had returned to herself—but with half her head gone, the damage was too great to be repaired. It pained her that her own creation had gone through so much suffering just to follow her orders. But she could try to offer her double one last bit of comfort.  
  
"M . . . zZak Master. I'm . . . zzAak sorry. Even if . . . he did control my mind . . . zzak I did some mean things to you all . . . zzAK"  
  
Washu looked sadly at her. She wanted to tell Dark Washu that it hadn't been her fault for following her directive, but she knew that such a feeble offer of an excuse wouldn't be accepted. She remained silent, so that her creation might better have her last say—even if what she had to say was the last thing she wanted to hear.  
  
"It's time. Come on . . . Master . . . ZzAK Please . . . turn me . . . off . . . now . . . "  
  
"But, I . . . " She couldn't. Despite everything that had happened—_because_ of everything that had happened—she couldn't. Dark Washu didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to be forgotten. Maybe she could still find a way to repair her, to alter her directive so that they didn't have to fight anymo—  
  
Washu started as a dark hand grasped hers and gently but firmly led her fingers to the off-switch on the back of her double's neck. Dark Washu smiled once, then crumbled into a pile of shards and circuitry.  
  
_Dark Washu . . ._ No longer with anything to grasp, her hand clenched into a fist. _. . . You were so brave!_  
  
Lost in her melancholy, Washu barely noticed as Tenchi stepped up beside her, staring at the pile. "It's all right. We all understand." He turned and smiled softly at her. "Dark Washu was just trying to do what you told her . . . "  
  
Washu closed her eyes and took a deep breath, a slight smile brushing her lips. Her friends would understand. They wouldn't hold her creation in any ill-will.  
  
And she . . . she wouldn't be forgotten. Dark Washu _or_ herself. Because they both had ones who would always remember, no matter what happened. Because they were both loved. She threw her thoughts out into space, hoping that somehow, somewhere, Dark Washu could hear her.  
  
_I'm sorry . . . for giving you such a difficult job for so long. Rest well . . . it's your first break in 5,000 years . . . _  
  
----------  
  
**_Will you remember me  
Will you remember me  
Will you remember me_**  
  
Washu stepped onto the dock and hesitated at the sight of Sasami standing there, calmly awaiting them. All the fears she'd had just before restoring the memory of Tenchi and the others came flooding back. _What if she's angry with me . . . ?_  
  
"Sasami, I've come home. It's me . . . " She swallowed hard. Better to get this over with. "I'm sorry I messed with your memory." She raised her hand and called up the familiar vid-windows. "But I promise, cross my heart, that I won't **ever** do it again, all right? So here we go . . . "  
  
_Please . . . Remember me . . ._ She wasn't sure she could bear it if Sasami couldn't remember.  
  
Sasami continued watching her with very little expression of surprise. Then finally she ventured, "Wa . . . Washu."  
  
Washu stopped the program mid-process out of pure shock. Sasami had said her name with as much firm recognition as if she'd known her all her life. As if she _knew_ she'd known her all her life. "W-wait . . . I . . . But I haven't . . . done it yet . . . " Even the others hadn't remembered her entirely until she'd reversed the process. How could Sasami . . . ?  
  
Sasami gave Washu a heartfelt look and pressed a hand to her chest. "I . . . did it all by myself. Something was stuck in the back of my mind. I tried really hard to remember . . . and then I _did_." She gave an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Washu . . . that I forgot about you. I didn't mean it . . . "  
  
_Only Sasami would apologize for something like that,_ Washu thought with fondness, surprised that she could get a rational thought between her tears. Before she realized what she was doing, she'd taken the younger girl into a tight embrace. _My family . . . _  
  
She was _home_.  
  


** Owari **  
  



End file.
